I grew up in a Christian home with parents who had our family in church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and for every special event during the week. I gave my life to Jesus when I was twelve, but looking back, fear was my primary motivation. For me, church was defined by a list of “dos and don’ts.” If you kept the list, you were golden; if you messed up, you felt like God was just waiting to bust you open like a piñata.
I spent decades chasing perfection, constantly beating myself up for missing the mark. My relationship with Jesus was like a dog chasing its tail—always running, but never reaching the goal of being “perfect enough.” I never shared these feelings with my parents because I didn’t want to disappoint them. Instead, I swept it all under the rug and pretended everything was wonderful.
I have been a follower of Jesus for over fifty-three years. In that time, I’ve served as a youth leader, a church Elder, and even a paid pastor for five years. Yet, despite those titles, my performance-based mentality was the same at sixty-five as it was at twelve.
Everything changed one day in 2020 when my long-time friend Joe texted me. He shared his vision for something called BrewPastors. He wanted to create a safe place where people could be vulnerable and share their true stories. This was a foreign concept to me. I was used to the routine: go to church, sing songs, listen to a sermon, and go home. You never talked about struggles. And you certainly never went to a brewery to do it.
That changed when I attended my first BrewGroup. It was a breath of fresh air to finally just be me, knowing no one in that group was going to judge me for my flaws. By being vulnerable, I quickly discovered that others were struggling with the exact same things. James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” That truth finally resonated with me.
You can’t be healed until you identify the root cause of your struggle. Once I did that, I began to break the chains of performance and perfectionism. It is a journey, but BrewPastors is helping me slowly see myself the way Jesus sees me.
I once heard that transformation requires three things: God’s Word, God’s Spirit, and God’s people. All three are present in my BrewGroup. My healing has been closely tied to God’s people; we have shed tears together because we know it is a safe place. I am eternally grateful that BrewPastors has helped me find the freedom to just be myself with Jesus.
Does Roger’s journey from “performance” to peace resonate with your own experience? If you’ve spent years feeling like you have to keep up a perfect front, please know that you don’t have to carry that weight alone. Roger would love to hear your story and walk alongside you. Whether you’d prefer to meet 1-on-1 in person, chat online, or talk over the phone, you can reach out to him directly through his profile .
Alternatively, if you’re looking for a community of people who value honesty over perfection, we’d love to have you join us at a BrewGroup. It’s a safe, no-judgment space where you can just be you.